Your Cat is Dead

Fifi just turned belly-up by the litter box. How do you tell someone their cat is dead? Do you tell them tentatively or blurt it out, over and done with? I hope you’ll never need this, but just in case…your astro-guide will help you along:

Aries : Your cat’s dead. You know this is going to affect MY cat, don’t you?


Taurus: I paid good money for that cat. I knew it would be a waste.


Gemini: Will send you a text message inviting you to meet you to chat about the cat situation.


Cancer: Can’t say anything….sobbing noises…leaves the room…


Leo: I did everything I could to try and save that cat –  almost got MYSELF killed.


Virgo: I got home at 10.36 and I saw what appeared to be a small feline creature lying at a funny angle on the wet road…


Libra: Your cat’s dead….but it might not be! Scorpio: That filthy disgusting creature that pees in my room has been hit by a truck.


Sag: Your. Cat. Is. DEAD.


Capricorn: You’ll be needing to go out on the road with a shovel and a garbage bag.


Aquarius: I think we should all go out and bury the cat..then maybe we should have a wake?


Pisces: A pisces never tells you your cat is dead. (They probably didn’t notice).

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