How Ugly Are You? There’s an App for That!


Want to know how ugly you and your friends are?

In the age of beauty before brains, the new “Ugly Meter” iPhone application won’t hold back. It will tell how ugly or beautiful you and your friends are. (Further proof this world is all going to hell in a handbasket).  The app lets you take a person’s photo and then scan the face to score. Ah, the wonderful pasttime of creating more technological avenues to exalt looks and sex.

Developed and designed by the vapid Dapper Gentleman, the application is unfortunately available to download for 99 cents, but it needs more than 5 MB of free space in your iPhone. Ugly will cost ya. As featured in the Daily Mail, the Ugly Meter application has displayed some controversial scores for some of the most glamorous faces in pop culture, so don’t take this app to heart. Actually, if I were you, I wouldn’t take it at all. But then again, I have the most beautiful friends and family in the world and I don’t need an app to tell me that.

At age 20, I was approached by a group to participate in a Canadian pageant. The organizer of the committee whispered in my ear: “I’m sure you’ll win. I’m also going to be a judge.” Smarmy, but I considered it that day (as any 20 yr old would,) until I asked my father for his opinion. I sparred and debated all important decisions with him . We ping-ponged intellectually with flashbulb-in-my-brain epiphanies often. His reply was partial disgust, partial bewilderment, “Why on earth would you need a bunch of idiots sitting at a table to validate if you’re beautiful or not? Go look in the mirror right now.” I had to laugh. He always got to the point. Simple and true. It wasn’t the act of seeing myself, but the motion of standing at the mirror – turning that judgement internally.

This bat is beautiful in his Mama’s eyes.

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